Hi Honey I'm Home
by pmw
Summary: Jack is back, Ianto is cooking, they have missed each other.  Written for Red Is Our Colour.


**Title:** Hi honey, I'm home!

**Author:** pmw10261

**Characters/Pairings:** Jack/Ianto, mentions, Tosh, Owen and Gwen.

**Word Count:** ~2000

**Rating:** PG13

**Spoilers:** none.

**Warnings: **none - slight Gwen bashing.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Torchwood. I do not make money off of Torchwood. This is for entertainment purposes only.

**Beta:** none - looking for a beta, please

**Summary:** Fun in the kitchen, and elsewhere.

**Author's Note:** Written for the redisourcolor challenge #14. The theme is "Kitchen" and the words are "condign", "shower gel" and "expel" The phrase is "Look. A map of Cardiff. Isn't it brilliant?"

Ianto heard the key in the lock and smiled. He was home, much earlier than was expected. A huge smile graced his face and he heard the shout of 'Hi honey, I'm home!" This greeting had started as a bit of a joke, but now they both yelled it when one was home before the other, and it made both of them smile.

"Hi sweetie, how was work?" He replied, again started as a joke, but now was said with affection and love.

"Oh good, Unit were not happy about the expel notice, but as it was authorized by She Who Must Be Obeyed, so they complied."

"How is HRH?"

"Fine, she sends her love and hopes you will make it to the next quarterly meeting." replied Jack, as his arms went around his partners waist, and resting his chin on Ianto's shoulder, 'Humumm, what's for dinner?"

"Spag Bog, you know I'm not as good in the kitchen as you." Ianto leaned into Jack's embrace, enjoying the little kisses he was getting on his neck. He straightened up to stir the sauce, "So what did you do that I need to smooth over?"

"Nothing, I was very good, I hardly upset anyone." pouted Jack.

"There is a first for everything." Ianto put a pot of water on to boil for the spaghetti.

"Wills pulled me aside, he wants us both to go down for Charles's birthday party."

"Do we have to?" replied Ianto, turning around and giving Jack a quick kiss.

"No, but we do need to go to the meeting with the UN and the Prime Minister, HRH wants us both there."

"I believe that is so I can keep you in line, as there is usually a ball after the meeting."

"Yeah, well, I have only once caused an international incident, and she wont let me forget it." sulked Jack.

"But it was a very condign comment on her behalf."

"You were bored while I was away?"

"Maybe, it was way too quite and I did the competition with everyone."

"Did anyone stump you? Has anyone stumped you?" asked Jack, as he smiled at the thought of Gwen, Tosh and Owen trying to bet Ianto at 'The Game'.

'Nup, won again, it was Gwen's turn and she couldn't spell it to look it up. I've been trying to put it in conversation we have had since yesterday, it's become a habit." laughed Ianto.

"Who thought up 'The Game' you or Tosh?" asked Jack.

"It was Tosh, wanted to test if I did know everything, and made a game of out it, picked words first, I said it's not a game if it's all one sided, that's when it was decided I get to try and stump them with a word, and the three of them had to give or find the meaning in one minute, computers not allowed."

"I'm glad I've never been roped into that game, but it has to be better than some of Gwen's." Jack said.

"That's why we started playing, earlier on that day she started on 'who was the first person you snogged, luckily the rift sent a gift, nothing dangerous, just another Jestiper Toaster, third in 2 days, but we wanted to 'head her off at the pass'."

Jack nodded, he'd been present at many of Gwen's 'Who Was' games, and they could be embarrassing. "Have I got time to have a shower before dinner?"

"Should be fine, I bought a new shower gel, its vanilla, tell me if you like it?" Ianto replied as he popped some garlic bread into the oven.

"Why don't you come and help me test it out?" Jack waggled his eyebrows and Ianto smiled a cheeky smile.

"I'll just turn this all down, don't want it to explode or anything, if we take a bit more time, I have had, sorry seen, you in two days."

"Oh Mr Jones, I have missed you so much." Jack pulled Ianto towards the shower.

The water boiled.

The pasta cooked.

The garlic bread baked.

The two men became reacquainted with each other, twice, each.

"Shit, the dinner."

Ianto and Jack rushed out to the kitchen, Jack tried to pull the burning bread out of the oven but knocked Ianto as he was trying to put the flaming sauce pan off the hob, the pasta sauce pot was knocked over, hitting Jack on the arm, who jumped up and collided with Ianto.

No one was injured, badly, but the dinner ended up on the floor, spread out, a mess.

Ianto looked at the floor. Jack waited for him to rant and rave about the mess, but all he said was "Look. A map of Cardiff. Isn't it brilliant?" and laughed, reaching for Jack who was passing over the mop and broom.


End file.
